With that said, I cannot think of a stupider, less attractive thing than the decoration and augmentation of the finger and toenails. It is a silly practice, one that makes no woman more attractive to me. It is a form of makeup that looks mildly retarded if done poorly and ugly/superficial if done well.
It's very strange. At some point in American culture, we decided that we wanted women's hands to look like, well, bloody claws. Red-tipped, bloody claws. Who approved this?
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I like makeup on a lady; A personal favorite is the famed "smoked eyed look." I think tattooing is fine, though those who overdo it are probably a little unhinged. I understand that dyeing one's hair or getting a tat is actually less of big deal than nail polish.
Still. Those things, to me, represent something. Tatts are somewhat punk rock, though the overwhelming majority of them now are of the "I got drunk during rush week and decided that the moon represents me" tramp stamp variety. Using hair dye is self-expression in a way that normally augments a woman's looks -- no, I'm not talking about the bleached blonde set -- though I'd suggest that most "highlights" look ridiculous.
In fact, that's probably the best comparison. Some highlights look hilariously unnatural. We've all seen a woman with auburn hair, but small strands of blonde scattered across her straight lots. They look like lane lines on the highway, straight and unwavering. Out of place and meant to keep everyone in line.
Nail polish looks the same way. By its nature, it looks unnatural, save for maybe the "flesh" color (the least aggregious of all nail polish).
Yes, a woman's hands and feet are part of her body. Bad hands or bad feet, I'm sure, matter to some people. However, I've never heard a single man say he couldn't date someone because she has ugly hands or ugly feet. I've heard it about nearly every other part of the body; hairy arms, lumpy thigs, oddly-shaped breasts, giant nipples, strange noses, whatever. But, fingernails or, worse, toenails? No way.
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All the solid-color finger and toenail decoration isn't my thing, but I understand that it's the cost of doing business. Women do this for whatever reason -- traditions date back to Egyptian times -- so fine. Whatever. But, that doesn't compare with the idiocy that is airbrushing and designing on one's finger and toenails.
The worst -- the absolute worst -- is this design nonsense. this nonsense, I think started out with the so-called "French" manicure, wherein the normal aspects of a fingernail were simply exaggerated. It's a duotone situation and thus requires more than just slapping some paint on a nail.
Then, the little designs came. Nonsense like this:
And this:
And this:
And, of course, this:
(Image from the Washington Post)
It looks ridiculous and it's some crazy peacock instinct a lot of women have. It's the same instinct that produces huge hair, the boobs-pushed-together thing, outlandish sports jerseys, crazy eye makeup and fat people wearing tangerine orange shirts. None, of course, of those things are good ideas.
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And one final point: Putting nail polish on an ugly set of hands or feet does not make the hands or feet look good. Indeed, it simply draws more attention to them. It's the proverbial lipstick on the pig.
Or, hell, let's put it another way (to the straight men reading this): Have you ever seen an ugly chick with great fingernails and said "Damn, she looks like bigfoot, but look at those hands"?
Exactly.
