"Effing"

I'm 27 and my job title is "Web Producer." I am not aversed to the Internet. It is, no doubt, the most important thing to happen in my lifetime and has changed the way we do just about everything. Unfortunately, aspects of the Web and increased communication mean that the way we communicate has changed. And not for the better.

I understand the need to be succinct. I do not lambaste the move toward shorter news stories or 10-second soundbites. No, I don't love either, but I think short journalism is just as important as long journalsim.

Rather, the advent of certain technologies (smartphones) and software (IM) have created a trend of strange contortions of the English language which I cannot support. The first of these, of course, is the word "effing."

Often, in blogs and even in the mainstream media, you'll see someone write "effing" or "eff" in a blog post or comment section.

This is fucking stupid.

The reason that one says "effing" is because they are trying to use a verbal version of "f--king" or "f-ing." It's pretty simple; They are simple naming the letter to invoke a bad word. While this annoys me a little in speech (we're all adults and bad words are still just words), I have a potty mouth. That particular thing may be a Ross problem.

Nevertheless, when you're typing and you're self-censoring, what is the point of writing "effing." First off, "eff" is not a word. "F" is what you would be saying. That's it. If you're writing an e-mail, type "what the f?" Or "What the f--k?" If you're posting a blog comment, say "f-ing." Don't spell it out. It's two more keystrokes.

Think about it in other contexts. When you're writing to someone to say you got an 85% on a test, do you write "I got a bee on my test?" Do you ever type that Adam Carolla is a "see-list celebrity?" Of course you don't. Hell, for other bad words, people don't spell out the letter. I'm not an aye-hole or a geedee idiot. I'm an a-hole. A GD idiot.

People I know and like do this, which makes it even worse.

Hello

I wanted someplace to rant and the Internet gives me that opportunity. So, here is a new project -- on top of two other sites I admin/write for -- wherein I complain.

Complaining is one of my skills. On one hand, I come from a Jewish family. At the risk of being horribly offensive, Jews are world-class complainers, as a people. Jews have our own word for complaining: Kvetching.

Secondly, I am kind of a pathetic person. I'm a giant hypocrite and I expect greatness out of everyone, despite being less than great. I'm overweight, short, hairy and mostly unattractive. I think I'm funny, but I may be the only one.

Finally, I am getting older. I've always been a curmudgeon, but as I add years to my age, I find myself getting annoyed with trends and happenings of younger people. A lot of that has to do with Internet-tinged language, as you will see. A lot of it is my fear of getting older. A lot of it is jealousy of younger people.

With all that said, today my laziness will rule and I will be posting a modified version of something I've already written. Let the complaining begin!